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Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:51:42Avatar

Has anybody ever noticed how many sexual references there are about various tool?  You'd think that somebody would come up with something original.


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:51:40Avatar

Linda: I would LOVE to know how you happen to know this, but it might be TMI... LOL


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:49:26Avatar

Jerry... Ruby is never a good time... not missing much!!!


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:48:22Avatar

LOL, you're braver than me, Paul.  I don't call numbers that I don't know, not even the ones scrawled on restroom walls "Call Ruby for a good time."


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:48:01Avatar

Jerry- you innocent remark was priceless... don't change... maybe we need change!!! 


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:47:47Avatar

That happens Pace...


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:46:56Avatar

ACE, THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO MY BLONDE JOKE


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:46:03Avatar

Hmmm, the spaces were in it when I posted it, bummer...


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:44:12Avatar

EM, I CALLED THAT NUMBER AND IT WAS A SEX CHAT LINE THAT WAS OUTSOURCED TO INDIA...SOME INDIAN GUY PRETENDING TO BE A CHICK FROM THE SOUTH.


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:44:09Avatar

NON-PARTISAN Below:

A friend JUST sent me this in an e-mail, and thought I would share. (I never "served", but agree totally)...

Civilians,  'We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem - Kick Their Ass. 2.  When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest - Kick Their Ass.3.  Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans.  If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled veteran Kicks Their Ass.4.  (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be 'Special Forces,' and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old.  Now, it will only make you look stupid and get Your Ass Kicked.5.  Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, 'Do you fly a jet?'  Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot.  Such ignorance deserves an Ass-Kicking (children are exempt).6.  If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform them of their mistake - and Kick Their Ass.7.  Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart.  Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her - of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe Ass-Kicking.8.  Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.  We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation.  Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those Who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party.  We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet; all we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out..  If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will Get Your Ass Kicked!9.  'Your mama wears combat boots.' never made sense to me - stop saying It!  If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore could Kick Your Ass!10.  Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go kill those Commies!'  And stop asking us where he is!   Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me - if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go Kick Their Ass!11.  'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Doggie' (Army), 'Squid' (Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get Your Ass Kicked.12.  Last, but not least, Whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families.  Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day.  Without them, our country would get it's 'Ass Kicked.''It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the Press.''It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.''It's the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.''It's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.'One more:13.  If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

 


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:42:51Avatar

That's the last opening that I'm providing this evening.


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:42:34Avatar

WOW EM you so got a little somethin somthin this weekend it shows...


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:41:01Avatar


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:40:53Avatar

THE WAY KITTY POST I'M SURE SHE IS A REAL BLONDE.


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:39:14Avatar

Paul, I hope that you told that and ducked, just in case there was a real blonde present.


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:37:49Avatar

Yes Jerry.. handy is good!!!

OMG even I am having a tough time keeping a straight face!!!!!  Oh, what I could say but.... I know your sensibilities Jerry...   BUT OMG!!!!


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:36:46Avatar

A BLONDE WOMAN WAS DRIVING HER CAR HOME ONE NIGHT WHEN SHE SUDDENLY FOUND HERSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF A REALLY BAD HAIL STORM. THE HAIL STONES WERE AS BIG AS GOLF BALLS AND HER CAR GETS DENTED UP REALLY BAD. THE NEXT DAY SHE TAKES IT IN TO A REPAIR SHOP TO HAVE THE DENTS LOOKED AT.THE REPAIR GUY NOTICING THAT SHE IS BLONDE AND QUITE DINGY WHEN SHE SPEAKS, DECIDES TO HAVE SOME FUN AND TELLS HER TO BLOW INTO THE TAIL PIPE OF THE CAR REALLY HARD WHEN SHE GETS HOME, AND THAT DOING THIS WILL CAUSE ALL OF THE DENTS TO POP OUT.WHEN SHE GETS HOME SHE STARTS BLOWING INTO THE TAIL PIPE AS HARD AS SHE CAN, OVER AND OVER. JUST THEN, HER BEST FRIEND WHO ALSO IS BLONDE SHOWS UP. HER FRIEND SEES HER BLOWING INTO THE TAIL PIPE AND IS QUITE STARTLED BY THE ACTION. SHE BLURTS OUT ALL FLIPPANTLY, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"SHE TELLS HER THE REPAIR GUY TOLD HER TO BLOW INTO THE TAIL PIPE REAL HARD AND THE DENTS WOULD POP OUT. HER GIRLFRIEND SAYS "DUH! YOU NEED TO ROLL UP THE WINDOWS FIRST!"


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:36:15Avatar

Back at ya Linda...


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:35:26Avatar

Linda, I've always been handy.


Leonidas
18 Nov 2008 18:34:37Avatar

Bag Head

lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:34:35Avatar

Answered HG!!!

 

Jerry... it's good you have figured out the way to a woman's heart... Maintenance!!!


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:33:52Avatar

Surprised none of the ladies have asked how "well" they were hung though... LOL


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:31:53Avatar

I got all of the pictures hung for her, CK.  She said that she was completely satisfied.


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:31:45Avatar

Good evening all.  A friend wanted pictures hung, but she had trouble finding studs.  Now let's see what kind of innuendos are made about that.

 

(I am being good) LMBO!!! wicked!


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:31:44Avatar

Two blondes driving are driving down a highway past the Great Salt Lake when suddenly the passenger looks out her window and see's a 3rd blonde on the Salt Lake in a row boat furiously trying to row across it.

"Pull over damn it! Pull over right now!" She screams, so the driver obliges and stops the car...

"You know", says the driver, "It's the dumb blondes like that one that give the rest of us a bad name damn it!"

"Yeah", says the passenger, "And, you know what? That makes me so mad that if I could swim I'd go out there and kick her ass!"

Cool


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:29:47Avatar

Answered, Ace.

Evening, Em. I thought your friend had you over to help--isn't that stud enough?Innocent


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:28:55Avatar

Oh good grief Em...like everyone here NEEDS the encouragement!!


Emeritus
18 Nov 2008 18:28:10Avatar

Good evening all.  A friend wanted pictures hung, but she had trouble finding studs.  Now let's see what kind of innuendos are made about that.


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:27:11Avatar

Smail Linda.

PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:26:36Avatar

What do you call a brunette standing between 2 blondes?

 

Interpreter...


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:26:23Avatar

Pace I am always a good sport go for it...


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:25:46Avatar

I went to the hairdresser before the Diva weekend and got rid of all that unsightly blond hair.... didn't work.. huh???


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:25:34Avatar

I might blame your hair color, but never you.

 

 

Hmph.... ???  LOL


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:24:59Avatar

Hmmm, is this a good time for blonde jokes?

Just checking...


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:23:52Avatar

Linda...Linda...Linda... I don't blame you for that.

 

I might blame your hair color, but never you.


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:23:21Avatar

OOpssie I doubled sorry


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:21:31Avatar

HG... you will be pleased to know.. my new car has GPS!!!!  Next time you come down... I won't fuck you up!! ( Hopeful Smile ) 


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:21:26Avatar

Counting Paul it's like a Diva week night....


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:21:25Avatar

Counting Paul it's like a Diva week night....


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:21:04Avatar

STC - LOL...I'm already thinking about the 2009 season!!!


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:20:15Avatar

Yep... once he got off that toilet... it just wasn't the same!!!  And then he left me for "JOE THE PLUMBER"!!!

 

-------------------------------------------

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's like a light kist came on, that cheater


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:19:47Avatar

I hope Linda's going to use the GPS on her way down here Saturday--she hasn't gotten it right once on her own!!!


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:19:26Avatar

awwwwwwwwwww HG it will get better I mean well we could have the Lions


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:19:22Avatar

Yep... once he got off that toilet... it just wasn't the same!!!  And then he left me for "JOE THE PLUMBER"!!!


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:19:01Avatar

HawkGirl6718 Nov 2008 18:16:34Avatar

cklaurence18 Nov 2008 17:39:49Avatar

What do you think it stands for in Seahawk Land?

Tackle?

 

Umm, I don't think so--"Tackle" has more letters, giggle giggle.

 


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:18:32Avatar

Linda is sooo fickle!

 

GPS should help that...


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:17:41Avatar

Linda is sooo fickle!


HawkGirl67
18 Nov 2008 18:16:34Avatar

cklaurence18 Nov 2008 17:39:49Avatar

What do you think it stands for in Seahawk Land?

 

 

 

Tackle?


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:16:16Avatar

I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU MAKING FUN OF MY EATING DISORDER


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:16:09Avatar

indadito118 Nov 2008 18:11:59Avatar

Paulie... yes I liked Crumbie...  but you know how it goes,,, girl meets guy sitting on toilet!! It's all bathroom humor at first... but then it changes...

 

 

__________________________________________

 

Bwahhahhhhahhahah I just spit a G2 all over myself lady that way funny!


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:15:02Avatar

Hands Paul a nice home made dinner there should be better now!


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:13:31Avatar

STC: I think Paulie's excuse is, well, ummm, he's dead. I mean, seriously, look at him, and don't tell me he's just "very thin".


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:13:27Avatar

Get a grip Leo--it's not just getting the people here, I've told you a thousand times...they have to buy the book too!!!

 

THUMP!!!!!


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:12:33Avatar

P9X18 Nov 2008 18:02:54Avatar

KITTY, YOU OK? YOU REALLY SEEM WEIRD THE LAST FEW WEEKS.

 

----------------------------------------------

Your excuse for the last year then LOL!


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:11:59Avatar

Paulie... yes I liked Crumbie...  but you know how it goes,,, girl meets guy sitting on toilet!! It's all bathroom humor at first... but then it changes... 


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:11:06Avatar

Leo: That would be in the "terms of service agreement".

You have heard of that before, right?


PhantomAce
18 Nov 2008 18:08:22Avatar

CK: reply


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:07:59Avatar

CRUM SAID HE QUIT BECAUSE OF THE ELECTION...HE PRETTY MUCH QUIT BEFORE THEN THOUGH, I THINK HE WAS JUST BUSY.


Leonidas
18 Nov 2008 18:06:29Avatar

Ohh geez CK... I forgot to read the fine print damn it!


dredwak
18 Nov 2008 18:06:08Avatar

<noted>


PatsAsOne
18 Nov 2008 18:05:37Avatar

<noted>


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:05:14Avatar

What happened to Crum?


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:04:57Avatar

 would like it noted.... on this day.. Linda has used extreme patience and tolerance due to her Swiss tendencies!!!!

Duly noted, Ms Linda.


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:04:36Avatar

LINDA, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ARE YOU SAD THAT CRUM IS NO LONGER AROUND


cklaurence
18 Nov 2008 18:03:49Avatar

Boy I show up and the page comes alive... Ck I will be charging my usual fee...

Get a grip Leo--it's not just getting the people here, I've told you a thousand times...they have to buy the book too!!!!


lindadito1
18 Nov 2008 18:03:32Avatar

I would like it noted.... on this day.. Linda has used extreme patience and tolerance due to her Swiss tendencies!!!!


P9X
18 Nov 2008 18:02:54Avatar

KITTY, YOU OK? YOU REALLY SEEM WEIRD THE LAST FEW WEEKS.


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:02:29Avatar

Ck I will be charging my usual fee...  Ummm how much? Kitty runs for cash....Money mouth


SteveTheCat
18 Nov 2008 18:01:27Avatar

OMG LMBO at Pace LMBO LOLOL at Sealed LOLOLOL


Leonidas
18 Nov 2008 18:00:09Avatar

Boy I show up and the page comes alive... Ck I will be charging my usual fee...